My thoughts on breast feeding

During my pregnancy I knew that breast feeding was going to be difficult and painful in the beginning but I don't think that any amount of reading can truly prepare you for what it is actually going to be like (similar to being a parent in general).

That first couple of weeks were so terribly painful! Oh my gosh, I cried on several occasions and would get a terrible feeling in my stomach right before I had to feed her again. My nipples scabbed over twice and after that, things started to get better slowly.  I'm still a little sensitive in the shower when I have to face the water but its a million times better than it was. I'm not sure if that sensitivity will ever go away....

There was one thing however, that caught me way off guard. By 4 days post partum I noticed that my armpits felt sore.  When I lifted up my arms, I found that they were extremely swollen with big lumps that were tender to the touch. I went to the doctor the next morning and he informed me that it was the tail of my breast and to not be concerned. Apparently some women have an excess of breast tissue in their armpit...it woud have been nice if some of that breast tissue would have migrated to my chest in prior years when I was hoping for bigger boobs. :)

He wasn't sure if the swelling and lumpiness would go away after the initial engorgement phase.....I was more than a little upset.  I looked like I had huge tumors growing out of my armpits. I mean, talk about self conscious! Thankfully, the swelling went down dramatically over the next week and I can say that at this point someone looking at me won't be able to tell.

I was also surprised how sensitive my feelings about breast feeding were. While I knew deep down that she was getting enough to eat, all it took was one comment from Brad saying that he didn't think she was getting enough...something he admitted almost immediately was worded wrong. She was crying a lot that night and he was really just trying to ask if that could be what was wrong.  Well, cue the emotional breakdown! It took me days to get over his comment and to not feel so self conscious when I fed her in front of him.  Thankfully, we both got past it and I got my self esteem back.

Now that I'm 8 weeks out, a new issue has emerged.  Over a week ago, Olivia started going on temporary nursing strikes.  At random feedings throughout each day, she decides she wants nothing to do with the boob.  Mostly, she just hates it at night when its bedtime.  I really can't pin point what it could possibly be...  I'm hoping that last night was finally the turning point.  She actually nursed well (with no crying or anything) at bedtime for the first time in 10 days!!!  I'm not sure if her general gassiness has been to blame for these issues or if she is just stubborn. 

Wow, everytime you think you've got things down pat, they throw you for a loop.