Thursday, April 11, 2013

My thoughts on breast feeding

During my pregnancy I knew that breast feeding was going to be difficult and painful in the beginning but I don't think that any amount of reading can truly prepare you for what it is actually going to be like (similar to being a parent in general).

That first couple of weeks were so terribly painful! Oh my gosh, I cried on several occasions and would get a terrible feeling in my stomach right before I had to feed her again. My nipples scabbed over twice and after that, things started to get better slowly.  I'm still a little sensitive in the shower when I have to face the water but its a million times better than it was. I'm not sure if that sensitivity will ever go away....

There was one thing however, that caught me way off guard. By 4 days post partum I noticed that my armpits felt sore.  When I lifted up my arms, I found that they were extremely swollen with big lumps that were tender to the touch. I went to the doctor the next morning and he informed me that it was the tail of my breast and to not be concerned. Apparently some women have an excess of breast tissue in their armpit...it woud have been nice if some of that breast tissue would have migrated to my chest in prior years when I was hoping for bigger boobs. :)

He wasn't sure if the swelling and lumpiness would go away after the initial engorgement phase.....I was more than a little upset.  I looked like I had huge tumors growing out of my armpits. I mean, talk about self conscious! Thankfully, the swelling went down dramatically over the next week and I can say that at this point someone looking at me won't be able to tell.

I was also surprised how sensitive my feelings about breast feeding were. While I knew deep down that she was getting enough to eat, all it took was one comment from Brad saying that he didn't think she was getting enough...something he admitted almost immediately was worded wrong. She was crying a lot that night and he was really just trying to ask if that could be what was wrong.  Well, cue the emotional breakdown! It took me days to get over his comment and to not feel so self conscious when I fed her in front of him.  Thankfully, we both got past it and I got my self esteem back.

Now that I'm 8 weeks out, a new issue has emerged.  Over a week ago, Olivia started going on temporary nursing strikes.  At random feedings throughout each day, she decides she wants nothing to do with the boob.  Mostly, she just hates it at night when its bedtime.  I really can't pin point what it could possibly be...  I'm hoping that last night was finally the turning point.  She actually nursed well (with no crying or anything) at bedtime for the first time in 10 days!!!  I'm not sure if her general gassiness has been to blame for these issues or if she is just stubborn. 

Wow, everytime you think you've got things down pat, they throw you for a loop.   

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Postpartum exercising

Before giving birth I had given postpartum exercising a lot of thought and had tried to set my mind to getting back into shape as quick as possible. I had committed to doing a 15k with a friend 6 months after my due date so I was hoping that promise would keep me motivated.

So far, I can honestly say that my exercise routine (not sure if you can really call it that), has been going pretty well. I think what has really helped me get back to it most is my love for running.  I really missed hitting the pavement in my last few months of pregnancy.  When I would see others running, I would just stare longingly waiting for the day when I could run again...lol. Brad told me I was weird and he's probably right, haha!

I started out walking on the treadmill at 2 weeks PP and that quickly turned into running and some walking.  I just couldn't seem to help myself. Plus, it felt good to run and my body reacted well to the extra exertion, so I felt good about cranking it up. I also threw in some core exercises for 5-10 minutes everyday to help get rid of all the extra jiggle in my middle....yes that made me laugh.

I have signed up for a 5k on April 6th. I'll be 8 weeks pp. I'm not looking to get a fast time out of it, just want to be able to complete it (even if I have to walk a small part).  Giving myself a goal for the short term is helping to keep me extra motivated for now.

One of the things I was not prepared for was the lack of bladder control. It's fine when I'm walking, but when I run I leak like a faucet.  It's a good thing I'm still wearing pads.  From what I've read, it should get better slowly in the next few months, but in the meantime I'm trying to step up the kegels.  Peeing while you run is not exactly a good feeling...constantly worrying if its going to start running down your leg and into your shoes, ugh!

I'd like to update again in a few months and see if I am able to continue working out once leave is over and I have to try to manage 2 jobs and a baby.  Just thinking about that makes me tired!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

I'm still here

I know it's been forever since I updated, but I have not forgotten about this blog I promise.

Olivia Grace entered our lives on Saturday, February 9th at 7:13 pm. She weighed 7lb 1oz and was 20 inches long.

She's the most beautiful and perfect blessing we could have ever asked for in this lifetime. One day soon, I'll share her birth story. In the meantime, we are enjoying every second with our tiny little miracle...a miracle we weren't sure was ever going to happen for us.  What a difference a year makes!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Over due....

Well, here I sit at 40w3d and can't help but wonder when this little girl plans on making her grand appearance.  At my appointment last Friday there was no change from the week before ( 2cm dilated and 0% effacement).  Not what I was hoping to hear, that's for sure.  Add another reason on to my "it's stupid to do cervical checks" list.  It makes it worse knowing that I haven't made any progress in the last week.

The doctor told me that he would induce this coming Saturday if she does not decided to come on her own....ugh!  I really, really don't want to be induced.  As much as I want this baby to be here, I wish they would let me go to 42 weeks before inducing.  I'm starting to get more nervous by the day that my chances for a med-free vaginal birth are becoming further from my reach.  If I haven't progressed any further by induction, a c-section seems imminent to me.

For now, I'll just try to focus on each day as it comes and accept what I cannot change.  You would think I would have already learned that lesson during our 2+ years of infertility struggles and TTC, but I think my type A personality still has a tight grasp on me.

On the bright side, I was able to confirm today that she is doing well in there.  The doctor had me in for a NST and her movement and heart rate both look good.  He was also able to tell me that I'm not having regular contractions......Gee thanks, I know.  :) 

Nesting also kicked into high gear a couple of days ago.  I must say my house is pretty darn clean.  The only catch is that I can't just relax and enjoy it, I fee like I have to keep cleaning. 

My love for cereal seems to have intensified.  I now have 3 boxes of cereal in my pantry (all for me) and usually have 2 bowls each day.  Fruity Pebbles have been a great dessert lately.  :)

No pictures today, but maybe later this week.  It would be nice to add a picture of an outside baby, that's for sure!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

38 weeks

Still here and chugging along. :)  I'm definitely not as stressed these days as compared to the last couple of weeks.  I guess I just feel ready.... or rather as ready as I'll ever be.

This little girl is out of space and my body knows it.  My ribs are sore at the end of the work day and I think I may be a tad bruised on the right side of my rib cage (it's tender to the touch).  It's the spot she seems to love to kick/jab me in all.the.time. so I'm not too surprised.  I also noticed on Sunday (2 days ago) that I have more pressure in my pelvic region.  I know some say that this could be a sign that she has dropped, but I still think I look like I'm carrying awfully high, so who knows.

So far I only seem to have one stretch mark.  As I'm writing this though, I'm sure I've jinxed myself and will have more pop up before her birth.  The one that I have is pretty small.  It showed up between my belly button and the hole where I had my belly button pierced.  Punishment for getting it pierced, possibly???

How far along? 38 weeks 3 days

How are you feeling?
It changes daily.  Yesterday I felt pretty crappy and today I'm feeling pretty good.  Just a roller coaster lately both physically and emotionally.  Everyday is different than the last.  Not much has changed in the way of symptoms although my feet have been pretty itchy.  I'm thinking this is because the swelling is getting worse.  Some days the fatigue, aches and pains get to me a little and definitely affect my mood.  Poor Brad. :(

Cravings?
still honey nut cherrios, but I tossed some frosted mini wheats into the line-up as well

What are you missing?
Getting up and down (from a chair or bed) normally and without a huge amount of effort.  Wine and sushi are also on the top of the list. 

What are you looking forward to?
Olivia's birth, of course!  I will say that for the time being, I'm also trying to hang on to every second I have alone with Brad and cherishing this last little bit of time we have as just a couple.
Baby Purchases?
The only baby things I've bought in the last couple of weeks have been for other people.  I have 5 (yes, 5) baby showers for other people this month.  Thankfully, the last one is this Friday and it's just a small work shower, but I'm helping to throw it. 

Weight Gain/Loss?
+27ish....my weight seems to fluctuating a couple of pounds every few days.  Maybe its the water I'm retaining???

And some pictures for your viewing pleasure.  :)





Tuesday, January 15, 2013

37 weeks

Well here I am; full term!  It's just so hard to believe that I get to say those words.  Life has been so good to me the last 8 1/2 months.  It has been almost exactly a year since our second failed attempt at IVF (this Sunday, the 20th is the day it got cancelled).  Wow, life has a funny way of working things out sometimes. :)

In the meantime, I need to take some time for myself to relax before this little girl gets here.  I'm not exactly the best at doing that though (taking time for myself) so I feel like I'm failing miserably.  Life seems to be moving too fast with wayyy too many things to get done and stress about in the meantime.  There are so many things that are just so hard to do at this point in pregnancy, that's for sure.  Hopefully, I can try to have some time to myself this weekend...we'll see.

How far along? 37 weeks 2 days

How are you feeling?
Well, to be honest, the last week or so has been a little rough.  I'm starting to get pretty uncomfortable with almost everything I try to do.  Emotionally I feel like I'm all over the place.  That could be all the stress lately though, I'm not sure.  The list of symptoms looks like this: back pain, sore/swollen hands, swollen feet (sometimes pretty sore), intensifying braxton hicks, fatigue is back, acid reflux, general discomfort all day, and some pelvic pain.  Overall, I would say that I'm still hanging in there and doing well though.  I expected the last part of pregnancy to be uncomfortable, so at least there's that. :)

Cravings?
honey nut cherrios for the past 2-3 weeks

What are you missing?
Wow, this list has grown alot!  There are so many things that I wish I could do that weren't so flipping difficult.  The simple things like getting up and down from a seated position, putting on shoes and socks, bending over, moving quickly without getting shooting pains down my back, and other random things. 

What are you looking forward to?
Hopefully a weekend of relaxation will make me feel better.  After that, I would love to meet this little angel.

Baby Purchases?
We are pretty much done buying things at this point although I'm sure I'll probably think of at least a couple more items we need before she makes her debut.  We are still on the lookout for a book shelf but I'm not sure if that will happen before or after her birthday.

Weight Gain/Loss?
+26-27

Here are a couple from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day:

 And here's one from 36 weeks: