13 Week Update

Wow, I made it to the 2nd trimester!  So very happy to be here (not to mention that I'm feeling better as well.

I borrowed my cousin's doppler and got to hear the baby on Thursday and again on Saturday.  I was always worried that using a doppler would create more stress if I couldn't find the heart beat, but so far so good. :)

How are you feeling? 
Sciatic pain has definitely been more prominent.  It seems to be the worst when I first get up out of a chair.  I'm hoping that it doesn't get too much worse as this pregnancy progresses.  I'm feeling more energetic these days and have been getting some light work-outs into my schedule, yay!  The best part is that the m/s sickness has pretty much disappeared.  It's so nice feel normal again!

Cravings?
Still seems to be sugar.  Chocolate, candy, ice cream, etc....they are all on my list.  I really wish I was one of those people that craved fruits or veggies.  In the meantime, I think I am doing a pretty good job of eating a balanced diet (well, now that the nausea is gone).

What are you missing?
Now that I am doing a little bit of running again, I really don't have much that I'm missing these days.  Maybe a glass of wine here or there.  It's weird because I thought I would miss drinking more than I do...especially at social activities.  I guess that's a good thing though!

What are you looking forward to?
Still looking forward to feeling LO move.  Also, our NT scan is tonight and I can't wait to see our little wiggleworm again.

Something you're loving about being pregnant: 
I love that I'm starting to show.  A few close friends and family have said things to me in the last couple of days about being able to tell that I was pregnant.  Yay!

Here I am last night after a very long day.  Excuse the no make up.

And just to see the difference of bump growth the last few weeks, here is a comparison of my 10 week  and 13 week pictures:

So sweet

Okay, so just a quick post about my amazing husband.  I know he has been dealing with a lot from me lately (with all my lovely mood swings) and him picking up a lot of slack around the house and I can't say enough for how understanding and helpful he has been. 

On Tuesday he surprised me with 2....yes 2 gifts when he got home.  The first was a package of chips ahoy cookies.  To some this might not seem like a great gift, but to this girl (the one with the crazy sweet tooth right now) it was just what I needed.  A couple (or maybe 3) of these is just enough to satisfy my cravings and I have been enjoying them after lunch and dinner so far this week.  :) 

He then proceeded to hand me another box.  He told me that he waited to get me a gift until after I was 12 weeks because he was nervous (and rightfully so after the scare a few weeks ago).  Here is what I opened:

So sweet!  It's the Home figurine from Willow tree.  Good job hubs, good job!

12 week update

I officially hit 12 weeks last Saturday.....woo-hoo!!!!!

Still no more bleeding and I'm praying that it stays that way. 

We had our 12 week appt on Thursday and got to hear this little bean's heartbeat again.  It is amazing how much that sound can melt my heart.  There are still so many days that it's hard to believe that this is actually happening.  And now here we are at the 12 week mark and I'm starting to think about registering and my shower.  For so long I didn't allow myself to let my mind take me to those places and now it's hard to really wrap my head around the reality of it all.  I have been trying to force myself for weeks now to get comfortable with buying things but I still have only bought that 1 package of diapers for Brad.  I'm sure that one of these days I'll be able to actually take the plunge, but for now researching products and looking at maternity clothes is about as far as I've gotten. 

Oh infertility, you will always be there lurking in the corner....I guess that will never change.  It was such a big part of my life for the last couple of years that I guess it makes sense that I still have all kinds of unresolved fears.  I pray that these fade over time and I can concentrate more on my beautiful little baby.

After our appointment, we agreed that we were officially "OOC" (out of the closet) for this pregnancy.  We both agreed that we have waited long enough and decided to tell work and all the other people in our lives that did not know the news yet.  It feels weird that it's not a secret anymore but also a weight off my shoulders.  There were so many times in conversations that I nearly slipped up.  I guess that won't matter anymore. :)

Now for the weekly update:

How far along? 12w 2d

How are you feeling? Still battling m/s...I'm starting to get sciatic pain already and have had a few headaches in the last week

Cravings? This still changes with my mood.  Mostly cravings pop up when I hear someone talk about a specific type of food or see a commerical.

What are you missing?running, but I plan to start getting back into some sort of exercise routine since I was released last Thursday.

What are you looking forward to? I really can't wait to feel my LO move.  Oh, and I'm also looking forward to having an actual bump that makes me look pregnant and not like I have been eating too many donuts.

Something you're loving about being pregnant:  It still feels really magical to me and I still love that my boobs are getting bigger. :)

I slacked on taking a picture over the weekend so here I am on Monday:

11 Week Update

So I realize that I have not been very good at all about updating every week like I orginally planned.  I really hope to change that starting with this week's update.

Before I go into my update for this week, here is  recap of the last few weeks (since I was about 8 weeks):
We went to our first OB appointment last week on Thursday and got to see the baby again!  Such a difference between 9 and 10 weeks.  Baby was wiggling all over and moving around.  Seeing those little arms and legs is so amazing.  Here was our U/S pic from that appt:

Baby was measuring 2 days ahead at our appointment.  :)












Now, onto this week's update:

How far along? 11w 2 d

How are you feeling? Still battling m/s and exhaustion

Cravings? ehh, depends on the day.  I would say for the most part, it's sweets though. :)

What are you missing?running...due to doctors orders.

What are you looking forward to? We get to hear the HB again this Thursday.  Also, I can't wait to hit the 12 week mark!

Something you're loving about being pregnant:  Knowing that there is a tiny baby growing inside me.  Makes me so happy!  Oh, and also loving the boobs!

Here is my pic from Saturday at exactly 11 weeks (there's definitely a difference, yay!):

I've never been so scared in my life

We had quite the scare on Sunday this past weekend.  It had actually been a pretty low key day, Brad and I hung out together and I got to relax some on the couch.  We had just gotten back from a short trip to home depot when I went to the bathroom to use another progesterone suppository.

Once inserted, I took the applicator out only to find that the entire top of it was covered in bright red blood.  I remember staring at it for what felt like forever trying to make sense of what I was seeing...In reality it was probably only about 5 seconds that I couldn't do anything but stare at the blood.  I couldn't grasp that there was blood in that amount on the applicator.  It seemed like so much, especially since I hadn't had any spotting or bleeding whatsoever during the pregnancy.  At that point I yelled for Brad.  I proceeded to grap some toliet paper and wipe....more blood, heck ALOT of blood.  Brad walked in the bathroom at this point with a terrible look on his face.  I don't know what he said to me, but when I looked down, I was dripping blood.  I told him we needed to go to the ER and I proceeded to change my pants and put on a heavy duty pad, all while sobbing hysterically begging God to not let this be happening.

I remember crying in the car on the way to the hospital and just "knowing" that I was miscarrying.  I can't remember any other time in my life when I have felt so scared or such gut-wrenching sadness.  How could I be losing our miracle baby?  We thought we were going to be okay....after all, I was already past 10 weeks and we had just seen the baby 3 days ago at our first OB appointment.

At the ER, I was a zombie trying to answer the questions the staff had for me.  I just kept thinking, with this much blood, there is no way I'm not miscarrying.  As it turns out, I was wrong.  Thank God for miracles!

Turns out I have a sub chorionic hemorrhage.  This is where the placenta has torn away from the uterine wall in a small section.  Doctors aren't sure what causes them and according to my reading they happend in something like 1% of pregnancies. 

All the bleeding was not affecting the baby and we got to see the little wiggleworm on the ultrasound moving all around and the little heart just beating away.  When I saw that heartbeat on the screen tears rolled down my cheeks and I think I breathed for the first time since I had seen the blood.

I did end up having a follow up with my OB the next morning and he reiterated what they told me at the hospital.  For now (at least the next 2 weeks) I have to take it really easy with no exercising, lifting, twisting, sex, or pulling.  He was very positive that these usually resolve on their own and that everything still looks really good. 

The kicker is that I may still bleed while my body tries to heal.  I have had a really hard time getting my head wrapped around that part....how am I supposed to be okay with that?  So far (4 days after the incident) I haven't had any other bleeding and will probably be on pins and needles until our appointment next Thursday.  

I am so very thankful that this baby is still here!  I guess no matter how grateful you are for something, an experience like this can make you even that much more thankful.  For now, I am so very happy that I am still pregnant and that we are 10 weeks 5 days today.  Everyday is one better than the last!