Body Image at 26 weeks

I know that this is probably normal, but lately I've been feeling very down about myself and the way I look.  Don't get me wrong; I love this baby and my bump.  They mean something so special and represent the truly amazing feat of growing a baby. 

It's mostly just the feeling that my husband doesn't find me attractive/pretty/sexy anymore.  I feel like a baby machine and nothing more.  When Brad comes home he always rubs my belly and says hi and I really do love it.  I love that I'm going to be a mom and that Brad is so excited about all of this too.  But, I feel like I'm sort of missing my old body.  This body isn't all mine anymore and even though everyone says that I'm all baby I know darn well that I'm carrying extra weight in my thighs and butt.  When you've spent your whole life keeping yourself physically in check and enjoying the attention you get from your significant other, it's hard to accept that you aren't neccessarily viewed like that anymore.  I think it's just something I have to learn to accept and know that after this pregnancy, I will be able to feel "sexy" again.  Until then, a little attention (like a butt grab) would be appreciated here and there. :)

Seperately, Brad and I have been talking about coming out on Facebook.  I want to do something really nice to recognize our struggle and all the other people out there struggling with infertility.  Heck, mostly I just want to celebrate our success so far the way that others get to.  It took me long enough to be okay with this type of announcement, so now I just have to figure out the exact way I want to do it.  Stay tuned on that.    

Now for the standard update:

How far along?
26 weeks 3 days

How are you feeling? 
Pretty good most days.  Achiness in my hips is pretty much always there (especially after I am active).  My energy level still seems to be pretty good too.  I only ran once last week and walked the other days.  I was just too sore after my one run that I didn't want to push it.  This may be the end of my running but I'm not sure.  I'll continue to try but I'm okay if I have to just walk at this point.

Oh and can I just mention how amazing it is to feel my little girl moving so often?...It's exciting and soothing all at the same time.  Since last week, we have been able to see her from the outside too and that is incredible in it's own way.  This is exactly what I pictured during those years of infertility struggle as what I "needed" in my life.  I guess it's just the fact that women are hardwired to be mothers and to want everything that goes along with it (maybe not in all cases :)  ).  To know that there is a precious baby inside me that Brad and I made (with the help of some truly wonderful doctors) is such a miracle.  I need to stop and remember that more often.  
 
New Symptoms?
The leaking I experienced last week in high volume must have been a one time occurance.  Since then I've only noticed a little dab here and there.  My appetite has increased dramatically in the last week or so.  I keep hoping that it's just a growth spurt.  I need to get it under control and stop going to foods like candy (damn you Halloween) and other desserts.  Just thinking about trying to keep my appetite under control through the holidays is making me nervous.  How am I going to restrain myself??? 

Cravings? 
Just lots of food

What are you missing?
Being able to be as active as I want and not have to be incredibly sore for days.  This must be what it's like to be a senior citizen. 

Maternity Clothes?
There aren't a whole lot of non-maternity shirts that are left in my regular rotation.  I'm getting closer and closer to all maternity items.

What are you looking forward to? 
Still looking forward to my showers. 

Also, I'm looking forward to figuring out this little girl's name.  I feel like we have been so close for about a month now.  Hopefully, we'll have it figured out in the next couple of weeks.

Baby Purchases?
Just some random things here and there...burp clothes, closet organizer, and some shelves. 

Weight Gain/Loss?
+16

It's really nice to have strangers be so excited and interested in my baby bump.  People seem so happy to ask me about my pregnancy.  Plus, it's nice to know that I am obviously pregnant at this point and not just chubby in the middle.  And honestly, I feel pretty big lately so why is it that when people find out I'm 6 months along they all tell me I'm so small?  It starts to make you wonder if you really are "that small" and if everything is okay.